Cat Quotes


"If I wanted to hear the patter of little feet in the house, I'd put shoes on my cat." --Unknown


"Does ownership of the family cat, and all its by-products, immediately transfer to the female head of the household whenever the word 'hairball' is uttered?" --Barbara L. Diamond


"A man has to work so hard so that something of his personality stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray and his presence is there for years on rainy days." --Albert Einstein


"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Unknown


"Cats may sense early on that you don't like paw prints on your butter, but they will jump onto any surface in the home as long as no one sees it happen." --Kathy Young


"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish." --James Gorman


"Apparently, through scientific research, it has been determined that a cat's affection gland is stimulated by snoring, thus explaining my cat's uncontrollable urge to rub against my face at 2 a.m." --Terri L. Haney


"It's always blackest just before you step on the cat." --Unknown


"A mouse in the paws is worth two in the pantry." --Louis Wain


"We have a friend who hates cats. Every time he comes to the house the cat sits on his knee." --Unknown


"Cats know how we feel; they just don't give a damn." --Unknown


"Okay, cats will never bring you pictures they've drawn in school, but they may give you a dead mouse. What parent could resist that gift?" --Terri L. Haney


"The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer." --Paula Poundstone


"A cat stretches from one end of my childhood to the other." -- Blaga Dimitrova


"Cats never feel threatened. They are genetically incapable of accepting that anyone could possibly dislike anything as perfect as a cat." --Kathy Young


"Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, "I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?" --Bette Midler


"Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won't even let you throw them." --Unknown


"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer." --Anonymous


"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while, I was a suspect." --Steven Wright


"A cat will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds." --Unknown


"While you might see a cat on a hot tin roof, a dog on a hot tin roof would be yowling its head off." --Dr. Bruce Fogle


"If you put down food and the cat eats, it's hungry. If it doesn't, it isn't." --Larry Madrid


"Cats are just little hair factories." --James Davis, D.V.M.


"Places to look: behind the books in the bookshelf, any cupboard with a gap too small for any cat to squeeze through, the top of anything sheer, under anything too low for a cat to squash under and inside the piano."
--Roseanne Ambrose-Brown


"If you can remember how many cats you have, you don't have enough." --Unknown


"Cats don't bark and act brave when they see something small in fur or feathers, they kill it. Dogs tend to bravado. They're braggarts. In the great evolutionary drama the dog is Sergeant Bilko, the cat is Rambo."
--James Gorman


"Never underestimate the power of a purr." --Anonymous


"All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats." --Steven Wright


"Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place." --Paul Gray


"Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: When fat, arrange yourself in slim poses." --John Weitz


"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in the water bowl." --Penny Ward Moser


"The difference between a cat and a dog: A dog thinks: They feed me, they shelter me, they love me, they must be gods. A cat thinks: They feed me, they shelter me, they love me, I must be GOD." -- Unknown


"Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration -- and get between you and it." --Arthur Bridges


"Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels, and their bath towels look a collection of knitting mistakes." --Eric Gurney


"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." --Jeff Valdez


"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." --Joseph Wood Krutch


"People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." -- Faith Resnick


"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." --Missy Dizick


"An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old." --Carl Van Vechten


"Do not allow long hair black cats to sleep atop laser printers and tape drives. The black hair is almost invisible in black pattens, gears, and rollers." --Jeff Liebermann


"I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..." --Steve Martin


"The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath." --W. C. Fields


"Garfield's Law: Cats instinctively know the precise moment their owners will awaken...then they awaken them ten minutes sooner." - -Jim Davis


"How do cats decide when to jump suddenly up from where they were sitting comfortably curled up and dash madly around the room, knocking over everything they encounter? Fuzzy logic." -- Andrew Koenig


"Last year a team of scientists published the results of an extensive study of cat language. They determined that although cats may demonstrate a wide variety of vocalizations, they actually only have two phrases that are translatable into human terms: 1. Hurry up with that food. 2. Everything here is mine." --Unknown


"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" --Steven Wright


"Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you. Rudimace always peed in our shoes." -- W.H. Auden


"A computer and a cat are somewhat alike -- they both purr, and like to be stroked, and spend a lot of the day motionless. They also have secrets they don't necessarily share." --John Updike


"Cats do not think that they are little people. They think that we are big cats. This influences their behavior in many ways." --Unknown


"When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up." -- Rodney Dangerfield


"When dogs leap onto your bed, it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it's because they adore your bed." --Alisha Everett


"The only self-cleaning thing in this kitchen is the cat." --Unknown


No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens.
--Abraham Lincoln


One cat justs leads to another. --Ernest Hemingway


Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. --Mary Bly


With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats? --Fernand Mery


People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life. -- Faith Resnick

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. --Anonymous


I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. --Hippolyte Taine


There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
--Albert Schweitzer


In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats. --English proverb


If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. --Mark Twain


The cat has too much spirit to have no heart. --Ernest Menaul


I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. --Winston Churchill


Woman, poets, and especially artists, like cats; delicate natures only can realize their sensitive nervous systems. --Helen M. Winslow


Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. --Missy Dizick


Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. --Dave Platt


You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats. --Colonial American proverb


Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. --Joseph Wood Krutch


I love my cats because I love my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. --Jean Couteau


Meow, mmrrr. --Vegas the Cat